If you’re a college kid, welcome on board! Throughout the journey, do keep your heads nodding. If you disagree, you’re not welcome on this “college is driving us nuts” crew and you may proceed to dive out and live your completely balanced life that we’re totally not jealous of. If you’re a soon-to-be college kid, I hope this article doesn’t scare you because, at the end of the day, we still love this crazy life we’re living (totally not being sarcastic) and wouldn’t trade it for the world (100% honesty right there).

Photo via: Pinterest

Photo via: Pinterest

Let’s begin the journey, shall we?

So we all started with the first major problem: money. If you’re not dirt poor, you’re not living the college experience the right way. I mean, for starters, we had to empty everyone’s, and I mean everyone’s, bank accounts to pay for the ridiculously expensive tuition fees for that piece of paper at the end of the road. You know, that thing we call a Degree? Yeah, that. Yes there’s also this other thing called a scholarship that we can graciously hang on to until we reach shore, but let’s not forget this other other thing called living expenses. And since we’ve emptied the bank accounts of everyone, including our grandma’s neighbour’s cat’s, we now have to split the bills right down to the .05 cents because we’re dirt poor okay?

Photo via: Quick Meme

Photo via: Quick Meme

Next on the list: starvation. Apart from having no money to eat, there’s also no such thing as “fixed meal times.” On some days, you have to wake at 5/6AM – which you’re unlikely to be able to achieve after the 1st week of the semester – so you either stuff any food on sight down your throat or you don’t. On days that classes do start at 12PM (bless all the Gods and deities of the planet), you get up at 11.59AM, so brunch it is. When the workload piles up and you’re finishing assignments the night before it’s due, what even is hunger?

Photo via: Quick Meme

Photo via: Quick Meme

Speaking of which, there’s also this problem with our routines and time in general. As aforementioned, classes start at different times on different days. That’s a different bed time each day, which is the ultimate cause of insomnia because fuck sleeping at 10PM to wake at 5AM the next day when I slept at 4AM the previous night marathoning Supernatural amirite. You then drag yourself through the pits of hell and get stuck in traffic for the most part and curse at the cruelty of the world because I just want to have time to stare at the ceiling is that so wrong????

Photo via: Pinterest

Photo via: Pinterest

After getting used to starving ourselves and having a non-existent day-to-day schedule, the ultimate issue arises: balance. The ideal college student is expected to:

  1. Get good grades.
  2. Participate in extracurricular activities.
  3. Have a social life.
  4. Get a boyfriend/girlfriend (because otherwise you’ll be single for life, or so we believe).
  5. Spend time with family.
  6. Exercise.
  7. Get enough sleep.
  8. Have time to Tumblr and watch YouTube videos.
  9. Do chores.
  10. Breathe.

Accomplishing even half of the list could easily take up all the hours of your day. Do you see where the problem begins? However, we somehow make it through and accomplish perhaps 75% of the list. Which is why we are either: a) a walking zombie, b) a loser, c) a loner, or d) that weird kid that nobody likes. If you can complete the list and still remain somewhat sane… nah, you’re a liar and I don’t believe you.

Photo via: MemeGen

Photo via: MemeGen

I could go on forever but I guess this is where I’m supposed to say, “But at the end of the day, there’s still that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.” Unfortunately, I don’t know what to say to justify my argument on why there’s still that 10% of sweetness. Nevertheless, college experience is a hell of a roller coaster ride that we cannot deny, is the best time of our life. There’s no reason for it, it just is.