Not too long ago, I wrote 6 Reasons Why KL Kias Have It Much Easier while in the midst of semester break. Then, I went back to KL for a deadly semester (in which I repeatedly asked myself why I couldn’t just drop out of college but then remembered I’m still kiasu) and am now spending semester break back home in Penang (PRAISE ALL THE LORDS FOR SEM BREAKS). See, thing is, I absolutely love almost everything about Penang. I think even my friends studying abroad (which is like, 90% of them btw) aren’t as homesick as I am when I spend a consecutive 4 weeks in KL without coming home (yes I’m broke but no I’m not willing to save up from that bus ride home for a few days). But yet there are still things I envy about KL kias, and again, I think most of us outside the Klang Valley can relate.
1. KL kias could (sometimes) avoid jams if they really tried.
Everyone probably has “Avoid toll roads” and “Avoid dirt roads” checked on their Waze. But c’mon, I’m sure we’d much rather pay tolls despite how shitty it is to have to pay to go to school/college/work (we didn’t want to go anyways) than being stuck in a 10km/h crawl. So even though the alternative may be a shitty alternative, at least there’s an alternative. When you’re stuck in a jam in Penang, the whole island is stuck in the jam with you. In a way this could be a positive thing because you wouldn’t have to explain to your boss why you’re 50 hours late, but hey, I’m sure we’d much rather arrive early and work an extra hour than being stuck in a jam for 50 hours.
2. KL kias have way less annoying motorcyclists on the road to endure.
Well I’m not saying the motorcyclists in KL aren’t annoying because they are (sorry not sorry) but at least you see less of them, and also most of the time, they have their own designated lanes so they don’t get in your way. In other states? They are EVERYWHERE. Again, I’m not saying other drivers aren’t annoying but motorcyclists are next level. Mainly because a minor knock could cause them to lose balance, fall over and quite possibly DIE and if they DIE you’re pretty much dead yourself because hey you just killed someone.
3. KL kias do not have to suffer holiday traffic congestion.
Did you think I was done complaining discussing about traffic? Well, you thought wrong. And yes I’m aware my previous list already has 2 other points about traffic, including one about travelling back home during holiday seasons. Well, I have to point out that apart from the jams while travelling back to our hometown, we also have to endure the jams within our hometowns during the holidays. You really don’t need to own a calendar to know there’s some kind of holiday or celebrations because everywhere you go, you see all these cars with number plates from other states that drive like they don’t know where they’re going. Granted, they probably do not know where they’re going. And we endure all these all while KL kias make it to school/college/work on time even though they overslept for 2 hours because their roads are so empty, you could probably wake up alive if you passed out in the middle of the highway.
4. KL kias always get the first franchise outlets and flagship stores.
Remember when the first H&M store opened at Lot 10 and you had to queue for an hour just to try on some clothes so you end up stripping in front of any reflective surface in the store? Ah, good times. Now you would probably walk into a H&M store while sleepwalking. Not just that, you’re lying if there hasn’t been at least one time in your life where you had to send something to the store to be fixed, only to get it back 50000 years later when you’ve forgotten you owned said thing, because it had to be sent to HQ in KL.
5. KL kias do not have to worry about not having transportation.
There’s the monorail, the LRT, the KTM, express this and express that. Yeah it may not be as convenient as some other countries, but you can alight and then grab a taxi or bus. Okay fine, we have buses and cabs too. Heck, Penang even have trishaws and a freaking ferry that carries passengers AND cars. But you know how ridiculously expensive it would be to travel around in a taxi? You could probably buy a car and hire a personal driver with all the money spent travelling in a taxi (I may or may not be exaggerating). And who likes waiting under the scorching hot sun for hours for the bus anyway? I’d rather sell my soul to pay for a cab. Basically, public transportation in KL is way more efficient. Then again, I was once stranded in Klang after getting off the train and had to walk for miles to get a taxi…
6. KL kias have all the pan mee they could ever want.
I was once asked why I’m constantly craving for pan mee even though I eat it almost everyday. Then I came to the realisation why – I tend to compare every other food in KL to those in Penang, and you know KL hawker food is crap. But when it comes to pan mee, I have to say those in Penang are the ones that are crap (blasphemy!). So if there’s one thing I miss most every time I’m home, it’s pan freaking mee. And yes I’m currently suffering from pan mee withdrawal.
And there you have it, again. Prior to writing this, I thought of writing “6 Reasons Why Being a Penang Kia is Better” but you know, complaining is way more fun. I could go on complaining forever. But I should probably stop now before I get bashed in the head by KL kias. If there’s news about a girl being bashed in the head by KL kias tomorrow, you’ll know it’s me.